Just Sad

I am just sad. There is really no better way to describe myself.

I will not stay this way, of course.

Boy#1 is pretty sad. The week in the "altered state" did him no favors. I cannot help but find myself terrified that he will slip into these states when things are hard. What if I am not there? That is a really big waste of time, worrying about that. I know that. But, today - I am worried.

I don't want to think about the implications of brain atrophy. If it is contributing to the "episodes". What it will bring for the future. It is not as if I can regrow his brain, right? So. Get over it.

I'm going to try to take better care of myself. That way maybe I will not feel so railroaded by life. The only thing I can really control is my diet, so I will give that a whirl. Having MS is really sucky. I am so tired (yeah, we're all tired. i get that. everyone is tired.). I move in slow motion. Everything is so stinking hard. I can walk. It just shouldn't be so hard.

So, yes. I am just sad. Tomorrow, I won't be.